She hopes that her decisions are good ones. Hope and Uncertainty have been her companions on this journey. Had she known she would be called to walk this road she would have either worked to prepare or she would have bolted – run from this responsibility that has somehow nestled itself onto her shoulders. The preparation would have focused more on building trust, appreciating what was good, working to understand and lots of research. The bolting would have meant turning her back on the people and values that she holds dear, that give her life purpose, meaning and fulfillment. Again, today, she finds she needs to make choices. She needs to decide what is best, what is most loving, what is most helpful. She wonders if it is wise to wait or if she needs to act now. She is reassured by Hope while the claws of Uncertainty sink even further into her confidence. There are those who call out to her from the sidelines. She grasps at these morsels of unexpected help, words of direction, clues of what may be laying ahead, and strength to face the unknown. Their words and actions offer nourishment that enables her to continue with some energy in her steps. There are marked pit stops along the journey where she expects help, relief and rest. Here she often finds indifference, unwillingness and criticism. She turns away feeling very alone, often angry and always puzzled. Puzzled that while they man their post with great pride their offerings are only shallow and empty. Puzzled because she continues to hope. How did she come to be on this road? It wasn’t her choice. Was it chosen for her or was it because she could not bring herself to walk away the pain and suffering, or both? She trudges on, Hope and Uncertainty are her companions.

Glory

Here is our amyrilus in all it's glory. There are 4 blooms on each stem and another stem coming up the middle. Thank you Gerry and Linda for the bulb you brought last November, it is a gift that gives and gives. I wish I knew how to keep these bulbs from one year to the next, I would like to try with this one.

Romanced

As I mentioned earlier I am working through the book "Captivating" with a group of lovely ladies. The chapter this week is on being romanced by Jesus. One assignment was to listen to the words from the Phantom of the Opera song, "All I Ask of You" as Jesus speaking his love to me. Youtube it, it's incrediable, if that doesn't work for you, here are the words. Of course you'll need to substitute Jesus for Raoul and your name for Christine. WOW!!!

Lyrics to All I Ask Of You (Phantom Of The Opera) :
RAOUL
No more talk of darkness,
forget these wide-eyed fears;
I'm here, nothing can harm you,
my words will warm and calm you.

Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears;
I'm here, with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you.

CHRISTINE
Say you love me every waking moment,
turn my head with talk of summertime.
Say you need me with you now and always;
promise me that all you say is true,
that's all I ask of you.

RAOUL
Let me be your shelter,
let me be your light;
you're safe, no one will find you,
your fears are far behind you.

CHRISTINE
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night;
and you, always beside me,
to hold me and to hide me.

RAOUL
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;
let me lead you from your solitude.
Say you need me with you, here beside you,
anywhere you go, let me go too,
Christine, that's all I ask of you

CHRISTINE
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;
say the word and I will follow you.

TOGETHER
Share each day with me,
each night, each morning.

CHRISTINE
Say you love me!
RAOUL
You know I do.

RAOUL &
CHRISTINE
Love me, that's all I ask of you
[ All I Ask Of You (Phantom Of The Opera) Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

Seasons

How is it that so much time passes between posts? The truth is that I’ve written several posts and decided it was wiser not to post them. Some have been little soap box speeches about things I feel strongly about and others have been more personal comments about things I’ve been struggling with.

Lately I have been working through a book called Captivating with a group of wonderful women. Some of the journaling is tough, painful and yet very needful. Some is joyful, refreshing and reminds me of how blessed I am. This is the third time I’ve journeyed through this book and each time I’ve discovered more about who I am, who I am not, and most importantly, who God is.

If life is like seasons I think each season can be broken down into months. I haven’t enjoyed this past season much, too more unsettledness, uncertainty and upheaval. Some thrive in these circumstances, stepping up to the plate and battling to make the best of things. Not me, I prefer routine and order and planning things out and watching those plans unfold. I know that a rut, a routine, feel safer to me and I know why. But that’s for another time. Months….?? I think this past while has been a November. November ushers in months of cold, dark, dreary days. I am ready to move out of that space!! I think April and May are my favorite months. But March brings with it whispers of warmth, new growth and sunshine. Our girls were born in May and April, what wonderful blessings they are! Thank you Lord that March is just around the corner, prepare my heart for what this season will unfold. One of the joys we look forward to in March is meeting our newest grandchild face to face. What a joy our little people are!! They have a way of pushing aside our veneer and exposing our hearts. With each one of our grandpeople I very clearly remember a time of sitting quietly, holding this little person in my arms and connecting heart to heart. Maybe I spoke words to them but what I said wasn’t important. It was the wonder of holding this new little being, created with reason and purpose, that drew voluntarily from my heart the delight of committing to this little one my love and all that love encompasses.

Yes….. whispers of warm, new growth and prolonged sunshine.

Waves of Time

We are almost half way through Oct. and I’m wondering where the time has gone. It’s been awhile since I’ve written here. Sept. is a blur, but moments of time are carved into my mind. Smiles, hugs, words and looks, I’ve wondered why some have had such a lasting effect, I can’t yet make sense of it. I may in time, and if I don't they will simply be stored with my treasure of memories. Let’s start with the end of Aug. and a wonderful visit to Nova Scotia.



We marveled at the tides, walked on the ocean floor, felt the roar of ocean, enjoyed the musicians and the smiles of the people who live there, the experience was heart warming and peace filling.




Shortly after our return we said, “We’ll miss you Dad. Thank you for showing us how to live life well. We will meet again and go to one of those big banquets together.”





A few days later, wedding of a beautiful young friend.






We managed to squeeze in a family photo. We are as mixed up as we can be but it shows the interweaving of family, that’s good.

Then comes the challenge of figuring out life again. We are still working on that.

We have been reminded that the people in our lives are very important. As we approach Thanksgiving I want you to know that I am very thankful for you!

Wonderfully Made

This little poem is posted on my desk, I thought you might enjoy it.

God is crazy about you
He sends you flowers every spring
and a sunrise every morning
Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen
He can live anywhere in the universe,
and He chose your heart

Evicted

I would like to introduce you to the little fellow that we’ve been trying evict. Each year this creature, or one like it, seems to make our upper deck it’s home. It is pleasant having creatures around but when one must be mindful of them much of the time it makes it less pleasant. We have a bin on the deck for chair cushions and he likes to hide underneath it. When we open the bin we must be careful not to move it or push on it for fear of smushing him.



Then, on those balmy summer evenings he likes to climb onto the window ledge and feast on those little flies that come with the fall of evening. Well, we’ve hurt him once and had to remove him too many times to count. Closing the window involves a toad check, we must be mindful of him. Well, it was time for the deck to be repaired and there he was. It seemed that his coziest stop was about to be removed. Gord moved him downstairs to one of the most lovely flower gardens, but the next day he was back on the upper deck. Now some of his boards had been removed but he seems to like the view and often perches himself on a beam just outside the patio door.



Now…. we need to be careful not to step on him when we go outside, ever mindful of this little creature. Ray came to help Gord with the deck, he moved him downstairs, the next day he was back again. Somehow, he climbs about ten feet up the wall and reclaims his domain. It would be better if he moved, less stress for the humans who live here, surely he sees the wisdom in that. But moving isn’t easy………………

The irony of all this is that I haven’t seen him for a couple of days and now I’m wondering where he is or what could have happened to him. Yup, I miss him.

A God Surprise

Last Thursday, one week ago, Gord and I went to Switzerville to pick up Mom and Dad Wilson and then head to Toronto. Just before we came to Mom and Dad’s house we noticed a group of animals in a field behind a barn. At first we thought they were cattle but second glance made it clear to us that they were deer. Gord pulled over to the side of the road and we counted them, there were 27 deer in that field, 10 in the next and 3 in the field across the road from the Wilson house. We saw 40 deer grazing freely and peacefully on the tender green grass that had been hidden by the heavy snow of winter. It was an amazing sight! And it was 4 o’clock in the afternoon. We felt very privileged to see that some of nature had emerged from the woods to relish the hope of spring. Yes, of course we had our camera with us, we were headed to the homes of our grandpeople, it was in a bag somewhere in the van.

Beautiful People

One week ago today two beautiful people were married.



Congratulations Gerrie (Bella) and Jack.
It was an honour to share part of your special day. Thank you.

Wonder Words / The Girls

These four are off an adventure in their imaginations, traveling on the wheels of words and camping out in a land of wonder. We love you!




If there are two people who can make selecting from of a take out menu fun, it’s these two. They can make almost any task fun. Thank you for being such a blessing to us!

Wise Words

The past few days I’ve been listening for wise words. Now we could go on and debate what makes words wise, but, that will have to wait. Here is a dozen of my favorites.
1. God will never give you on assignment that He will not enable you to complete.
2. You can do it, I believe you can do it, and do it well.
3. I’m sorry
4. You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. (Indira Gandhi)
5. I don’t know
6. The person is always more important than the issue
7. Micromanagement is disempowering.
8. I love you
9. Church is the people, church is not the structure or the programs
10. Do not measure the importance or value of what you do or who you are by human standards
11. I’m a duck! I tell myself, “I’m a duck” and just let it roll off my back.
12. Let God orient you to himself.

Today I talked with a four year little fellow who said he had a headache. I asked him what helped him when his head hurt. He said, “when Mommy kisses it.”

Adjustments

I written this post several times and each time I’ve made had to make adjustments, some large and some much smaller. Each attempt has required adjustments to the extent that I felt it wise to start from scratch, welcome to attempt #5. About 10 months ago Gord retired from Expertech. Retirement is a wonderful thing, but it does require adjustments. On Feb. 4th he began a part-time, contract job with Digitech which he expects will run for the next 6 months to a year. He can choose his own hours, they provide a van for him and lots of little gadgets for measuring and recording information. He will be checking the accuracy of what is on the cable plans with what is in the field and making the necessary adjustments to those plans. No, it’s not California, that contract has been put off for at least another two months. I’ve even adjusted my California dreamin’. So, a new job, new hours, new adventures, new adjustments. There are adjustments for Gord and adjustments for myself of course, because we are a team. Some of the adjustments we are looking forward to and some we just have to work with because it is part of the package. There will be bigger adjustments and smaller adjustments and unexpected adjustments. It seems to me that this would be a good time to work on flexibility. Flexibility should be taught early in life because every day presents opportunity for adjustments.

Motivator

Wade, our grandson, our little man, took two steps on Sunday morning. Two very deliberate, well thought out, steps. Those two steps were all that he needed to bring him from point A, the coffee table, to point B, the toy box. In the past he has chosen to crawl from one point to the other and crawling is good, I remember how excited we were when he learned how to crawl, that too was a major accomplishment, however, the time had come for him to put together all the skills he has learned thus far to develop a new skill, the skill of walking. His mom was there to witness this huge feat and to cheer him on. Soon walking will become the norm and we will see him crawling less and less. Soon he will be running, and falling, and skinning his knees, and getting back up and running again.
So, now the question is, what skills do I have, what have I learned, that if put together would develop a new skill? My Heavenly Father has equipped me everything I need and He already cheering me on, encouraging me to step forward. As I’m typing there doubts rising up, maybe I should go back and hone some of those skills, maybe relearn a few things from the past before I get to hasty about the future. Maybe I need to just sit it out for a while. Oh, and I remember how I fell and skinned my heart last time I tried. Those are the kinds of thoughts that deafen my ears to the cheering that I heard just moments ago, so, we’ll put those aside and deliberately step out and put those new skills to use. Ah, there is that wonderful encouraging voice again. We have everything we need. What do you think, is it time to take that next step? 2Tim. 1:7



Maybe one day soon Wade will motivator me to climb higher. Be careful.



Photos taken by Julie and Dan. Thank you

Swingin' or Chillin'

I love this swing, it offers a gentle rocking motion, dependable creaks and squeaks, and a very comfortable retreat on hot summer days. To me it looks a little bit lonely and a bit forgotten under this blanket of snow, and yet, quietly at peace, enjoying the time of rest. It seems that some were created to be in the swing of things. Even swingers need time to 'chill out' from time to time. At times chillin’ is voluntary, at other times it is imposed on us by circumstances. Whatever the reason, it is here for a season and meant to be gleaned from. If this is your season to chill, lean, glean and enjoy.




This comment is from the SmallGroup Ministries newsletter – (Winter’08 I think.)
I heard a speaker last summer who said ministry is like swinging. We lean back into the past and stretch forward to the future. I vividly remember teaching my children to pump so that I didn’t have to push them all the time. It’s hard at first to get the hang of kicking back and pushing forward. Once the balance and timing gets in sync, however, it seems there’s an invisible force that propels one higher and higher.

California Dreamin'

Last November Gord received a call asking him if he was interested in going to Santa Rosa, California for 6 months. It is just a bit north of San Francisco. Gord thought “no” and I thought “Oh, yes please, let’s go, can we go, please!” Gord agreed to offer to go for 3 months. They didn’t know if that would work for them but they would let us know. We waited and waited and waited. The starting date of January 7th was moved back a couple of weeks and then we heard last week that it was moved back into February sometime. They don’t seem to have things figured out yet. We have a commitment at the end of April to stay with three very special girls while their parents go on a wonderful, much deserved vacation, so our only restriction is that we need to be in Toronto then. The truth is that being in California for the spring and summer months lacks the appeal of being there for January, February and March. So, my excitement has turned into a very faint fizzle of hope and the realistic acceptance of ‘probably not.’ I’m left with little more than California Dreamin’. Not all the words apply but it’s been going around in my head for a bit so I thought I would pass it on to you and maybe you would hum along with me.

All the leaves are brown
And the sky is grey
I've been for a walk
On a winter's day
I'd be safe and warm
If I was in L.A.

California dreamin'
On such a winter's day
Stopped into a church
I passed along the way
Well I got down on my knees
And I pretend to pray
(I always thought it was “began” instead "pretend", hmm..."began" is better)
You know the preacher likes the cold
(Does anyone actually like the cold?)
He knows I'm gonna stay

California dreamin'
On such a winter's day
All the leaves are brown
And the sky is grey
I've been for a walk
On a winter's day
If I didn't tell her
I could leave today
(If I could figure out who "she" is, I'd tell her, and be ready to go tomorrow)

California dreamin'
On such a winter's day
On such a winter's day
On such a winter's day

GUIDANCE

It is interesting that we find the word “dance” planted firmly at the end of the word guidance. In the waltz, there is one who leads and one who follows. When God guides us, He leads and we follow. In dance, when the follower is in tune and focused on the leader, their steps, their movements, become captivating for both the participant and the observer. In Dance, when the follower tries to take the lead or refuses to follow, the dance becomes awkward, strained, uncomfortable, and it looses the enjoyment that both participants are meant to receive.

So..... Dance then, wherever you may be, I am the Lord of the dance said He….

Oops, we were waltzing, this is a bit closer;
Lead me, guide me, along the way ….

Thoughts of Yesteryear

As I was skimming through some of last year’s pictures I came across these beautiful creatures and remembered a wonderful day last November when Gord and I traveled through Algonquin Park. The fox we could not have missed, he was up front and personal. We were feeding him cheese sticks before our encounter was over.



The moose we may have missed had someone not already spotted him and pointed the way for us. It is important to pay attention to those pointing the way.

LIFE LESSON #2

Much time is needed to change the pictures on a published blog post. Best to let posted photos lie. I had some much nicer pictures of our grand people that I wanted to share with you. They were taken by Daniel John. It would have saved me much time to just create a new post, however I learned a great deal struggling through this exercise, so, for that I am thankful. Please take the time to look at the new pictures. I'm much happier with these photos so enjoy.

LIFE'S LESSON

Over the holidays we went on a walk at Lemonie Point to feed the chickadees from our hands. This is a wonderful experience, one enjoys a bond with creation and a closeness to our Creator. We had just started down the path, chickadees in sight, focused on our mission, when a person unknown to us said, “Do you see the dear in the woods?” The dear were standing less 100’ from where we were. It was an amazing moment to share as a family. We stopped and enjoyed watching three of these marvelous creatures as they grazed on tree branches and kept a watchful eye on us. I was so focused on where I was going that I almost missed all the joy of where I was. Many times have I missed God’s blessings because I have set my own direction. My hope is that 2008 will be the year I learn to live in the moment. I am thankful that the Lord is gently teaching me and changing me.

Grand people

CAILIN

WADE

HANNAH

ANISE


Some of the most precious people in the world.

Blessing after blessing.